// escaping shame

sweets
sports
video games
alcohol
porn
sex
studying hard
traveling

coffee
studying harder
new projects
new friends
taking care of others
working even harder
busyness

substances
plant medicine
non-monogamy
spiritual texts
spiritual practices

problem solving
dreaming about the future
— thinking
(not feeling)

for most of my life
subconsciously
i tried to escape
the feeling of
shame
(understandably because it sucks)

trying to fix something
that i thought was wrong
— me

escaping is nothing bad
it was the best i could do
with the resources
available to me
at that time

but eventually
there was no escaping anymore
i was looking shame in the eyes
smiling at it
deeply knowing that
it’s just an old story of my mind

that there is
nothing to fix
that there is
nothing wrong with
— me