// giovanni’s

a cappuccino and chocolate croissant please
two more espresso for table five
people shouting over each other
at the espresso bar
trying to order something
with the italian-looking server

chatter in italian, english, german, dutch
this may well be a café in italy
or a deli in new york

but it’s not
for a moment i believed the
perfectly beautiful illusion

i’m starting to notice some cracks
nelson mandela tea on the shelf
summer outside in february
a black person briefly popping up
with freshly cleaned cups
no black customers
but some black people outside on the street
as uber drivers, delivery people or service people

and i remember where i am
rainbow nation
cape of good hope
a supposedly free country
i can smell the wealth in the air
and the inequality
not so much freedom

i’m thinking about messaging and stories
and how systems of oppression adapt
apartheid is officially over
but is it really
or did it just find a different
more effective subtle expression
through capitalism
under the illusion of freedom?

rich and poor people exist everywhere
(which is another issue in itself)
the difference here is that
the rich are mostly not native from this land
but their ancestors basically
invaded and exploited the land and its people
now claiming that everyone can participate
in the wealth and growth of the country
more than thirty years after apartheid ended
still a small white minority holds the
vast majority of wealth

colonialism and oppression didn’t just happen here
it’s just one of the most recent examples of history
europeans didn’t invent it but
optimized and scaled it
systems of oppression go through all of human history
and looking back long enough
probably all of us or our ancestors
were oppressors and oppressed at some point

i’m feeling sad, angry and
lonely — is anyone else even noticing this
here at giovanni’s?
i also feel a lot of compassion for
all oppressed people
and yes, also for the oppressors
nobody here seems to be really free

yesterday on my hike i clearly saw
the cape
but is there also
hope?

for things to ever change
or are we just trapped in the same endless cycle
is there hope for a more colorful, compassionate,
conscious, peaceful, just and
free world?

there is always hope
but hope alone is not enough

in a world driven by fear
the antidote is not
just hoping for things to change
and certainly not to build
higher walls and fences

generations have been trying to
break down walls and fences
trying to do good
in the outer world
with mixed results

the outer world may just be a
reflection of our own inner worlds
so maybe
just maybe
we need to first face our own
inner walls and fences
with courage
with compassion
with acceptance
with Love
so they slowly dissolve
at their own time
when they’re ready

if we continue trying to change things
outside first with force
even for a good cause
we’ll only perpetuate the same old structures
just in fresh paint

bob marley echoes in my head
“emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
none but ourselves can free our minds”
(“and clean our hearts” i’d add)

which walls are still inside you?
which fences?